Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
