I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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