The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize