i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
