just tell him i said nine months
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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