Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
