after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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