Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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