Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
