North Korea, Best Korea!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize