apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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