Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
