Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i love accidental penises.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
