We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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