Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
is that a dick in a sweater?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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