i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
