you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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