We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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