We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
