You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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