i think my mom watched the whole time
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
