i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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