You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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