who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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