Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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