Just cropdusted the office
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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