Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
