After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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