I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
