I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize