I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
