they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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