all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
