You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
