I got chris browned last night
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
