Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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