he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
