I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
