The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
