you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
NoShamevember. You game?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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