will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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