She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
