Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
