I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock