Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
