lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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