why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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