We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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