just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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