I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
