Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
