Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
