so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
