Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I fill condoms, not promises.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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