im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
