just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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