i may or may not be watching the land before time
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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